No Posting, No Liking, Just Living.
- Abril, Rafaelle Ayanna
- Jun 24, 2020
- 5 min read

Scrolling through Facebook memes, liking Instagram selfies, and tweeting how frustrated I am with life.
This is how a typical stressed 19-year old spends her day living like a couch potato (basically, it's me).
I been maintaining a well curated Instagram feed, figuring different angles I need to take to achieve a hard-to-resist-not-to-like-post. I've always held this standard that I need to consistently be active on social media platforms derived from the fear of missing out and being outdated. Whenever I post a story, I check who have already watched it over and over again, maybe 85 times a day- I'm not even joking here. I admit. I am a social media addict.
Have you experienced eating out with friends and realizing at the end of the day you guys haven't really talked that much at all because each one of you is glued with their phones?
Do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling for 2 hours and not getting any work done?
As written in the book of Cal Newport, he mentioned Tristan Harris, a former start-up founder and Google engineer. "This thing is a slot machine." Harris says in the interview while holding up his smartphone. We think that we're in control of our screen time and it's up to us to choose how we use and manage our time. But in all honesty, these platforms are carefully and specifically designed to hook your attention and cultivate unhealthy use. Increasingly, they dictate how we should think and behave, often at the expense of family time and valuable activities. Let's be real guys, checking your "likes" is the new smoking.
And then we're now curious: Why am I so addicted with my phone?
Research suggests, tech companies encourage intermittent positive reinforcement and drive for social approval. A social media user asks in the back of their mind: Will I get likes or retweets with this post or will it be unnoticed by the public? This cycle of posting and checking feedback is what keeps our eyes in front of the screens. Just like gambling or smoking addiction, when you get a notification, a sudden hit of dopamine runs along the reward pathway which makes you feel good and creates a desire for more likes, retweets and emoji applause. Not to even mention, our drive for social media approval. Biologically, we are social beings who seek for validation from other people. If a lot of people click the little heart icon, it feels like we are accepted and loved by the public. On the other side, it there's a few heart reacts, we feel inadequate and think we're not good enough.
Even though there's a lot of benefits of using social media such as communicating with your family from the other side of the world and a source of learning and entertainment, the loss outweighs the gains. We develop unrealistic expectations. People often show their highlight reels in social media and then you compare your behind the scenes with it, which then negatively affects your mood and how you see yourself in the mirror. Comparing yourself to other people is a sure path to anxiety and social media has only made it us more susceptible to it.
This video is an eye opener. This is the truth. We live by comparing and trying to impress people which makes us unhappy and miserable inside.
I am a living proof of this. I seek attention and validation from social media platforms and it's unhealthy. It's taking a toll on my mental health which is why lying on my bed still awake at 2 am, I finally decided to take a social media detox. I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter apps on my phone and promised myself to take a break and live life outside my online persona. By far, it is the best decision I ever made.
So now I want to share 5 easy steps on how to quit social media:
1. Know your Why
Ask yourself: "Why do I use Facebook, Instagram or Twitter?"
"I'm bored. I don't have anything else to do to kill time." If that's your answer, it pretty sounds like a time wasting activity right?
You must first have a reality check. Do you even know how many times you've checked your social media accounts in a day? Once you are aware of the your dependency on social media, you'll realize that you need really start cutting down screen time and not fall into the social media addiction again.
2. Delete your social media apps on your phone.
It's hard to resist not scrolling these apps if it is one tap away from your pocket which is why deleting these could make you more free.
The more you find that there's no icons to open, the less likely you're going to use your phone which is the what we're going for.
3. Find alternative ways to replace the social media itch.
In this step, you could go back to do your hobbies such as reading, painting, writing poetry or maybe watching your all time fave movie with your family. Now you have the time, you could clean your bedroom and try to cook lunch. The key point here is live without thoughtlessly tapping and swiping these apps throughout the day.
4. Re-evaluate your pros and cons.
Evaluate each social media app you use and maximize the pros of using these apps.
So get a pen and paper and write for example the pros and cons of using Twitter. On the good side, this might help you be updated in the news. On the other hand, negativity kicks in because of the hate tweets of others. So you might think that you won't give up Twitter since it is a great platform for the latest news, however, I can suggest one solution that would keep you away from toxicity while maximizing the value of it. You could create a new account and follow accounts that provide news articles and also follow your friends who really are close to you. This tactic is used by my sister who has her new account for updates only.
5. Enjoy you life outside the virtual world.
No need for explanation. The 5th step says it all.
Posting Less.
Doing More.
Comparing Less.
Reflecting More.
If you managed to complete the 5 steps, you'll experience the amazing benefits of taking a break from social media. Your self esteem will improve. You will reconnect with people and build deeper relationships. You'll also live in present moment. If you're reading this, I do hope you'll think about taking a break from social media. Give yourself a chance to indulge in the real life pleasures.
Disconnect to Connect.