Art of being single

She's always been that girl who loves the idea of being in love. She's totally a big fan of romantic movies, couples walking in the rain, picnics at sunset.

But she's also that type of girl who despises cliche romantic dates. She keeps herself at a distance. She may seem quite cold and aloof. Above all, she values independence and freedom. For a long time, she's a woman who enjoys the sweetness of solitude. But at the end of the day, she has an extensive list of doubts and insecurities.

On certain days when I feel a bit gloomy and dramatic, I question my sanity. I keep asking myself, again and again, unable to find the right answers.

(insert inner self-dialogue)

Is there something wrong with me?

Am I capable of loving?

Can I not feel things?

Am I numb? selfish?

Am I too afraid to be vulnerable?

Do I still know how to recognize love?

What if I'm too caught up with my life that someone has slipped away, without me knowing I lost my chance?

...

but, come to think of it,

in the first place, the right one won't leave you,

that one person will stay.

staring at the ceiling, I wonder quite often,

what does it feel to be loved? (to be someone's comfort and worst enemy)

what does it feel to argue and make up?

how does it feel when you're intoxicated with passion

and blanketed with affection?

sometimes I want to feel things, aching for the presence of someone

sometimes I just want to dance and be with myself

most of the times I find myself in between

Society has brought us up into thinking that we should be in a relationship. This social pressure has put a piece of invisible baggage upon us. Taking a closer look at my personal journey, in the past, I'm someone who derived self-worth from male attention to now being happily single, by choice.

Coming of age movies, kilig kdramas, meet-cute scenes depict a not so important message: growing up = get in a relationship, or you're screwed for the rest of your life. These movies undermine our beliefs and got us into thinking that when you're entering your 20's, a woman should be able to find a man to lock somebody down for marriage. In the dating game, there's so much pressure on women in settling down and having a family. It's as if more dates and partners is equal to being more likable and confident. Typically, in large gathering events, relatives (Tita's and Tito's) ask if you have a partner and gives a pitiful look if you're not with someone as if you're a total failure and unsuccessful in life.

well honey, shrug the judgments and norms,

let go of seeking validation and approval from others.

you are indeed so much more.

perks of being single:

1. hun, you got full 24 hrs to yourself

2. less worry, no drama

3. learning to love my mind, body, and soul

4. looooots of time for self-discovery

5. a process of learning how to be a loving, understanding partner

6. more opportunities for your personal growth

7. being in a relationship is also hard-work, it isn't all that fun and games and so single life is not that dreadful, as the vast majority of people believe in doing so

(Straight facts from ashley a.k.a. bestdressed)

• “We are told that male attention is a limited commodity and that we have to hunt it down in order to feel valuable.”

• "Don't settle into the mindset of being the sidekick or the love interest. you're still the protagonist of your own life."

• "My life is not a rom-com, it's a comedy sitcom with 10 seasons and I'm on season 2."

Advice to oneself:

Why wait for the next, when you can enjoy its season?

You're wholly complete, you don't need another half.

Don't ever doubt your worth.

Love is within you.

You are love.

But then again,

Don't be afraid in opening your doors.

After all, you still own the key to your heart.